that's an acceptable place to lick
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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