6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
