I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
