At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize