So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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