She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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