I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
