We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The best revenge is premature balding
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
