Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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