Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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