So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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