He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
