Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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