Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
