it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize