I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
