thus making me awesome and them whores
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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