Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
