some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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