I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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