How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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