We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
