that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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