He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
