I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
