i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
