All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
