I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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