just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
