you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
