How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
