I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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