im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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