Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
