Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
id be glad to
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
