So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
