'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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