So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
