yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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