Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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