another moral hangover. fuck.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
