Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
