make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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