I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
