Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
