My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
