No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize