maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
