I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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