too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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