Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
