on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I want a musical about memes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
