I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't turn off my feet"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
