Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
