well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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