I feel great
I just peed on a car
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize