quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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