1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
