return my video game
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
