So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
