I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
