You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My bed smells like the plague
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
