hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
